Southern Cal schduling: Credit where credit is due

Generally speaking, I can't stand USC. I'm not even going to pretend that a large portion of that animosity is anything but pure, unadulterated jealousy. Haterade. I sipz it.

In my defense, it's hard not to feel pangs of homicidal rage when USC is good. Because not only do you have to put up with the media's fawning and the suddenly boisterous hoards of bandwagoners (nobody does it better than L.A.!), you also have to hear Fight On and Conquest approximately 8,000 times in a three-hour game broadcast. Life was easier in the Paul Hackett era when band-prompts such as first downs and scoring were more scarce.

But I digress. This is actually a post to compliment USC on its truly badass non-conference scheduling.

You may have noticed from my esteemed colleague's last post that USC opens this season at Virginia. Yes, opening the season 2,500 miles away against a BCS conference foe. That prompted me to provide this brief examination of USC's regular season non-conference games in the Pete Carrol era. I've omitted the annual Notre Dame matchups, which have been about 50/50 in terms of featuring a quality Irish team.

Please note that this is NOT a criticism of any other team, conference, coach or fan-base/anger-mob. This is simply a tip of the hat to USC's ballsy scheduling. For a more complete non-conference beatdown breakdown, consult The Wiz.

2001:
San Jose State
Kansas State

2002:
Auburn
@ Colorado
@ Kansas State

2003:
@ Auburn
BYU
Hawaii

2004:
Virginia Tech (at FedEx Field, Landover, Md.)
Colorado State
@ BYU

2005:
@ Hawaii
Arkansas
Fresno State

Beginning in 2006, the Pac-10 began a full-round robin schedule. Giving USC just two non-conference slots after Notre Dame. The response?

2006:
@ Arkansas
Nebraska

2007:
Idaho
@ Nebraska

Added up, that's 12 BCS teams -- 2/3's of the total. Nearly half -- eight of 18 -- have been played away from the L.A. Coliseum, and six of those have come against major-conference foes. Even the non-BCS schools are not your typical rent-a-wins. San Jose State and Idaho (and to a lesser extent Colorado State) are the only true cupcakes to be found. The Trojans caught BYU and Hawaii in some fallow years, but those programs have both had some fight in them in the past ten years. Finally, 2005's 50-42 shootout with Pat "Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere" Hill's Fresno State squad requires no explanation.

Oh, and lest we forget, USC is an astounding 16-2 in those games, with the only two losses coming against Kansas State squads with stout defenses and some guy named Ell Roberson.

Week 1 Games to Watch

Sat., Aug. 30
USC at Virginia
3:30 p.m. ET/12:30 p.m. PT - ABC

This one will show us if Virginia has anything, and gives a preview as to how great USC will be this year.

Sat., Aug. 30
Alabama vs. Clemson
8 p.m. ET/ 5 p.m. PT - ABC

Best game of the first week. Saban has Alabama rolling in the right direction. Might this be the year they take the next step? Clemson is expected to be the class of the ACC, and Bowden is under some heat there for not winning the big one. Beating a big name from the SEC would go a ways to get the season off on the right foot.

Sat., Aug. 30
Illinois vs. Missouri
8:30 p.m. ET/ 5:30 p.m. PT - ESPN

A close second to the 'Bama-Clemson matchup for week one. Can Zook translate a Rose Bowl season into a successful program? Will Illinois be able to perform offensively without Mendenhall? Can Juice Williams develop into a complete quarterback? Will Mizzou continue its dominance from last year? Chase Daniel is a legit early-season Heisman contender. This game will give him the opportunity to get his candidacy off to a good start.

Sat., Aug. 30
Washington vs. Oregon
10 p.m. ET/ 7 p.m. PT - Regional TV only

Being from Washington, and being a Washington fan, this one is a BIG opener. The rivalry is one of the strongest in the Pac-10, Willingham's job is riding on a winning record this year, Oregon has no experience at QB whatsoever, but has possibly the best, most experienced defense in the conference. Then there's Jake Locker, who makes every single game exciting (and terrifying, it always looks like the big hit is going to take him out for the year...)

Overall, a pretty great slate of games scheduled for Week 1. Hard to ask for more since most bigtime programs like to schedule at least one cupcake before playing their real games.....

Perrilloux gets another chance....

Ryan Perrilloux is clearly one of the most talented QB's in all of college football. He's the biggest reason that LSU even had an opportunity to win the title that they came away with last season. Everyone remember JaMarcus Russell, the Number One pick in the NFL Draft a year ago?? Well, Perrilloux has Russell's arm with Donovan McNabb's running ability on the field. He's absurdly gifted on the field. The guy has always been somewhat shady, missing practices and trying to get into casinos all over Louisiana. But there's no denying his talent. Surprisingly, Les Miles actually got rid of him after repeated violations.

Well, Perrilloux will get an opportunity to showcase his talent at Jacksonville State this season, his junior season. That's right, in order to avoid sitting a year and transferring to another D-1 school, Perrilloux is going to I-AA and will play right away. I think we can all be certain he'll stay there only one year, although I'm also sure that his personal off-field issues will damage his reputation in the eyes of NFL teams.

Regardless, something tells me that Jacksonville State will be one interesting, powerful D1-AA squad to watch this season... Their opener is Thursday, August 28, against Georgia Tech. I'd bet that someone televises that game... and I'll tell you for sure, I'd watch.

Attn: Sooners, Pokes and Irish -- Bring your IDs

The governor of Washington state was denied entrance into an Olympia, Wash. bar because she did not have her ID. You may be thinking that a 61-year-old governor would not need an ID to get into a watering hole down the street from the governor's mansion. Well you, sir, have probably never been to Washington state.

You may also be thinking that, on its face, this has little to do with college football. And we admit that we bring this up in part because each of us has spent anywhere from a significant chunk to the entirity of our lives in Washington -- a place where dismissive attitudes toward alcohol consumption know no bounds.

But alas, dear reader, there is some relevance to college football. In addition to the regular slate of Pac-10 foes, Oklahoma, Oklahoma State and Notre Dame all play road games in Seattle this year. OU and Notre Dame face off against the University of Washington at Husky Stadium, and OSU's contest with Washington State will be played at Qwest Field. (BYU also visits Husky Stadium... HAHAHA MORMON JOKE! GINGER ALE!)

Take it from us -- if you're a road-tripping fan headed out to a bar in Pioneer Square, the U-District or anywhere in between, bring your ID. It doesn't matter if you graduated from college before the bouncer was born -- they will card your ass.

This has been a public service announcement brought to you by the writers of TOSW, who wish they were drunk right now.

Penn State calls a press conference

Transcript of a Press Conference Addressing Recent Media Reports Regarding the Penn State Football Program

With Penn State athletic director Timothy M. Curley, head football coach Joe Paterno and Johnny Tightlips, assistant athletic director for stonewalling and obfuscution.

State College, Pa., July 30, 2008

CURLEY: Good morning and thank you all for coming. The Pennsylvania State University has a long and proud football tradition. In the classroom and locker room, on the field and off, the Nittany Lions strive for excellence. Recently, various media reports -- most notably a segment on ESPN's Outside the Lines television program -- have highlighted various legal problems of Penn State football players. Our atheltic department takes these reports seriously and has called this press conference today to address the issues that have been raised.

I will turn the floor over to head football coach Joe Paterno in just a moment, but first I'd like to introduce the latest addition to our athletic staff, Mr. Johnny Tightlips, who comes to Happy Valley following a long career in television. Mr. Tightlips has been hired to fill a newly created position, assistant athletic director for stonewalling and obfuscution. Effective immediately, Mr. Tightlips will be handling all media inquiries regarding the football program. Jeff Nelson, assistant athletic director for communications, will remain with the athletic department as a special advisor.

Mr. Tightlips will now read a prepared statement. Johnny, the floor is yours.

TIGHTLIPS: We ain't sayin' nothin'.

CURLEY: Thank you Mr. Tightlips. I'd now like to turn the floor over to head football coach Joe Paterno. After Mr. Paterno speaks, we'll open the floor for questions, time permitting. Coach...

PATERNO: F*** you.

(Long pause, glances around room at assembled media.)

Yeah, that's right, I'm lookin' at you, Sissy McPress-man. F*** you and f*** all of you.



CURLEY: Thank you, Joe. I will now open the floor to your questions.

(A circus erupts in the media room as reporters shout questions over one another.)

Coach Paterno! Coach Paterno! Jim Rogleman, Reading Eagle. Numerous individuals both inside and outside the Penn State community have charged that you've lost control of this program. How do you respond?

PATERNO: They're liars. What else do you want me to say? They're liars.

TIGHTLIPS: Tell 'em to suck on a lemon.

Mr. Tightlips! Ron Wisselmann, Philadelphia Enquirer, thank you for meeting with us today. Can you answer, yes or no, did Coach Paterno know of the text message allegedly sent to the Penn State football team instructing players not to talk to authorities?

TIGHTLIPS: Maybe he did, maybe he didn't.

That's not an answer, sir. Have you ever seen Coach Paterno send a text message?

TIGHTLIPS: I see a lot of things.

CURLEY: Ron, I'm going to have to cut you off there. We're just about out of time and can probably take one more question.

Coach Paterno, Barry Smizok, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. Will the recent negative publicity have any impact on your future? To put it another way, does this bring you any closer to retiring to spend more time with your family?

PATERNO: Let me spell it out for you. F - U - C ...

TIGHTLIPS: Who says he's got a family?

CURLEY: Alright, folks. That's all we have time for today. Again, media inquiries will now go through Mr. Tightlips. His information will be on the Web site by this afternoon. Thank you again for attending and we'll look forward to seeing you all in Happy Valley this fall!

The A-11 offense: DOA in NCAA?

I'm a fan of controlled chaos. Don't get me wrong -- I like the normal hegemonic order just fine. But when things fail to go my way, I generally prefer to see something unexpected and disorderly occur. I'm the guy who hopes every close presidential election will end up being decided in Congress.

To put it another (more college football-ish) way, look at the 2007 season. When it became clear that any team in which I had a remote rooting interest would fall short of their preseason goals, I begged for upheaval. Missouri and Kansas undefeated in the last week of the season? 3,457 different #2-ranked teams? A two-loss national champion? All oddly beautiful, in my eyes.

That's why I could hardly contain my enthusiasm when I saw this.

To sum up the link, the A-11 offense is a system developed at a California high school that uses one offensive lineman, two quarterbacks, two tight ends and six wide receivers. Any of the 11 players could theoretically be eligible receivers on a given play, depending on how the formation is tweaked.

This is right up my alley. It perfectly toes the line between being innovative/unusual and making a travesty of the game. It's chaos without being an affront to the spirit of fair play. It also gets bonus points for finally implementing the two-quarterback system. I've been lobbying for this since the days of Kordell "Slash" Stewart in the NFL and would have liked nothing more than to see pairs of mobile signalcallers like Tebow and Leak at Florida or Locker and Stanback at Washington in the same backfield at the same time.


Oh hell yes.

The accompanying video shows a number of plays that were blown up by the defense but that may have gone for big gains if run by a more athletically gifted set of offensive players. The article goes on to mention that the offense had drawn interest from NCAA schools and that Florida and San Jose State even made some use of it last season. Could this be a dream come true?

Well, no.

People who are far smarter than I when it comes to interpreting rule books have informed me that per NCAA rules, the A-11 is essentially a non-starter. With very few exceptions, each college play must begin with five interior offensive lineman wearing numbers 50-79. These players are obviously ineligible receivers. Most high school teams (Texas and Massachussetts excluded) do not face such a hurdle, as NFSHSA rules are a bit different on the topic.

In fact, if you look at the YouTube video of the Florida play referenced in the article, the four offensive lineman split to the right side of the formation don't actually advance beyond the line of scrimmage and in fact stay motionless. As such, I'm not certain if it would qualify as a true "A-11" play.

Interestingly, there is one situation in which the A-11 could be applied in college ball. The NCAA "numbering" rules are relaxed a bit in punting situations. More clarification would be needed (again by people far more rules-saavy than I) but I could imagine this formation being a nightmare for opponents in fourth-and-four type situations.

First pitch

Naming a general-interest college football blog is much harder than it looks. We here at TOSW spent the better part of three months thinking of this one. So before we explain what this blog is, let's take a moment to clear up what this blog is NOT:

1) This is not a blog devoted strictly to the option. Specifically, we are not touting the virtues of Rich Rodriguez, Paul Johnson or any other latter-day option guru.

2) We are not coaches and we are not trying to sell you an instructional DVD series ala Tony Franklin. You'll find no option 101 here. (Though if you're asking, we highly recommend the reverse pivot out of the Power-I.)

3) Last, and perhaps most importantly, this is not a Nebraska Cornhusker blog run by Frank Solich apologists.

So what is this blog then? Well, for now it's just a humble foray into college football writing by two friends who have been talking, arguing and occasionally even agreeing about college football since 2000. We hope to cover the full world of college football in an intelligent, insightful and occasionally even humorous manner.

HOW we do that remains to be seen. In fact, we won't even speculate as to what form it might take. We just hope to post quality content on a frequent basis. And since most of you early readers know us personally, please help us live up to the "frequent" pledge. Feel free to give us a little pep talk every so often, lest we pollute the Internet with yet another non-updating blog.

Oh, and we never did explain the name. We're not going to lie. We love the option. We don't seriously think the wishbone is coming back (Oh, wait...), but given our relative youth, we have a healthy respect for the halcyon days of yore. And much like the dying breed who still defends the option, we're stubborn as hell. Add that to the aforementioned naming difficulty and it just seemed to fit. Besides, "Bring Back the Bowl Alliance" just didn't have the same ring to it.